A few impressions of the journey from tiny helpless babe to toddler to child. Full of the highest highs and the lowest lows:
A mother’s love.
A mother’ terror.
A mother’s rage.
A mother’s equanimity.
Total bliss. Complete immersion in protective hormones. Connected intense drunken love. Obsessing over tiny toes. Claiming victory at smiles. Elation at giggles and laughs.
Absolute overwhelm. Drowning. The intense connection turns to fear. Worry. Guilt. The inability to cope with the possibility of losing this perfect sweet angel. The responsibility of protection.
Fury with a white hot core. Outrage of epic proportions. Incensed and angry. The yelling. The tantrums. Refusals and lies.
Bliss. Overwhelm. Fury. Connection. Disconnection. Responsibility. Anger. Sadness. Making Peace with all of these. Letting them ebb and flow. Knowing they won’t stay long.
Forgiving. Loving. Finding balance. Trusting.