36 years spent holding love hostage.
Feeling that love is conditional, earned and given with the unrealistic hope that the receiver will respond/reciprocate in the exact way that feels good.
Love held hostage in the name of self-protection.
An impotent attempt to feel whole and validated. Feeling that each time love was given I had given a part of myself to that person. The love given and my identity were one in the same. Giving love was scary, it felt like loss.
It was as if the love was me and to give it away was giving away a piece of me. When people mistreated my love, didn’t receive it the way that I wanted them to or discarded it I felt that they were mistreating, disappointing, discarding me.
How scary and disempowering is that?
Did I even know what love is?
Because it feels so different now.
Love is a gift. Given without expectation. Without condition. Without motive.
Think of donating money anonymously. It is done because it feels good. Because there is extra to give. Expecting nothing in return. The joy is in the giving.
The outcome is completely irrelevant to the gift when you have found the ultimate source of love. When you are completely full and confident that each gift of love that leaves is immediately replenished.
The love is no longer hostage.
It is free to flow.
Confidence in that flow and replenishment is the key.
I used to hold love hostage. I used to believe that it was scarce. Entrusting people with my love used to put my self-worth in jeopardy.
I now feel the expansive, energizing flow of unconditional love for myself.
I now have the ability to give love to others without condition. Without attachment. Without requirements. Without expectation. With the knowledge that my self worth is separate, whole and safe.
This feeling right now, is the feeling that I have longed for my entire life.
I am free to love.
Hypnosis has made this entire transformation possible. Through sessions and training that I have received from Grace Smith. Thorough a beautiful session with one of my amazing clients today. Through interactions with friends old and new. Through conversations with my hypnosisters.
If you want unconditional love, then you have to experience what it feels like first.
Searching for a something that you have never felt is like looking for something in the dark, you might eventually stumble upon it, but you are going to hurt yourself in the process. Tripping over things that you hope are what you are looking for, but turn out to be painful learning experiences.
36 years of tripping and I am here. I experienced the feeling under hypnosis in Past Life Regression Training a few weekends ago. I felt it again while leading a client through her transformation today. I have it now.
It is beautiful. It is life changing. I will never be the same again. I will never show up in the same way.
If this in any way resonates with you, I urge you to reach out. firstname.lastname@example.org
Sending you unconditional love,